Story from the Past

Lately a story from my past has been popping up. I believe it is a really funny story so I will share. I do not remember all the details exactly so I will probably make some of it up.

A bunch of friends are I were all hanging out. Like a lot of nights in high school, we were relaxing at someones house watching a movie and enjoying life. I believe we ended up watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre (great movie.) When it got late we all decided to head home.

Now, I don't really remember what I did to get in trouble, but I do know that I was in trouble with my girlfriend. Knowing how I acted at that point in my life, I probably said something really stupid and mean to her. Looking back, I find that I could have had a pretty good relationship in high school if I had just kept my mouth closed. But, like everything else in life, my expectations kill everything that is of great worth.

Anyways.

So I am in trouble with the women but whats new. I decided to drive off with a few of my boys and a few relationship mistakes to add to the list. I think we left and went to play the lottery for a while. Playing the lottery was a frequent waste of money for my friends and I. I am pretty sure the most I have ever won is 10 bucks and I am also sure I spent the winnings on more lottery tickets. However, while we are playing the lottery I conjured up a brilliant idea. Since we had just watched a scary movie, and the girls were a little on edge, I decided we should scare them that night.

I knew it was stupid. I knew I was already in a lot of trouble, but I knew it was going to be worth it. I called my girlfriend and found out she was headed to our friends (Pastors daughter) house to spend the night. The house they were going to has one of those privacy fences enclosing their sidewalk. We decided that we would hide behind the fence then jump out and scare them. Not the most creative joke, but the results surpassed all of our expectations.

They pull up as we are already hiding behind the fence. In high school I drove ridiculously fast so it was real easy to get there before them. At any rate, were there and they start walking up as it is completely dark outside. All three of us jump out at them and yell. Our hollering at them was immediately met with yells that the deaf would hear. The screams we were hearing were screams of sheer horror. Dogs were howling for miles because of their screams. Both of them jump a mile. I am pretty sure my girlfriend jumped into the wall. Sucker. After their heartbeat came back down to normal levels they finally realize who it is. That look of hatred that your significant other is always so talented at starts showing up. My girlfriend was pissed.

Not even a minute after their scream our Pastor comes running out of the house. This is a 50 year old man at a full sprint. He was definitely in his pj's with no shirt on. He was just as scared as the two girls. Triple burn. He realizes what happens and forces an awkward smile. As us guys are laughing it up we realize that my girlfriends friend has literally peed her pants. How could it get any better? We had girls running into walls, people peeing their pants, pastors running outdoors half naked. They got burned.

Mine and the girls situation did not really improve that night. The guys and I had a great laugh so it was all worth it.

Morals

So once upon a time I had a friend. He asked me to cut his hair. I said okay. So I grabbed the electric razor and went up the back of his head. Well the guard wasn't on and a 2 inch wide streak of bald scalp appeared up the back of his head. He wasn't to happy.
Moral: don't let me cut your hair

Schoolwork

I really can't think of anything to blog about so I figured I would take a few clips of a paper I just wrote and use that instead. The paper is on scripture and tradition and this is from a section on how to read scripture. Enjoy.

The reading of scripture is divided into two perspectives of interpretation. The most common reading of scripture is to believe that the gospels are primarily an example of Christ life that we as Christians should pertain to. However, this interpretation of the text is the least important for on this level of Christ being an example He is just a far removed as our church fathers. His life remains detached from ours and does not bid anything of substance to our existence. In fact, as Luther would suggest knowing Christ as a mere moral example only announces our lives as hypocritical. Therefore we must maintain that Christ should be manifested on a much higher level than just an example.

The foundation of scripture is that Christ has been given to us not just as an example, but as a gift. Romans 8:32, “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” This is the paramount of understanding scripture: that Christ as been birthed to us so that we may participate with Him, and through Him, in the divine nature experiencing the fulfillment of Christ life as it penetrates and overwhelms our own. The glory of God is most adequately uttered in whispers that Jesus deeds and sufferings are now attributed to us. Jesus, in all His brilliance and power is now ours thereby equipping us to diligently fight against the kingdom of darkness.

When Christ life has become the principal blessing of our salvation, we can then look at Christ life as an example, allocating ourselves to love and to our neighbor as we find Christ did. The struggle here is to live in the free exchange of moral words and moral verve because the lexis sketched out in the scriptures is designed to elevate us into to the open doors of sanctification. Through the reading of scripture our secondary responsibility (after seeing Christ as a blessing) focuses on uncovering the different shades and tones of Christian livelihood that comprise God’s moral standard. It is our obligation to interact with scripture as a moral vade mecum. With this it becomes possible to appropriately navigate ourselves down the narrow road by capitalizing on each truth exposed by a tropological undressing of the text. All other interpretations of scripture flow beneath the bridge of the tropological perspective for we do not wish to concentrate ourselves on a mere factual knowledge of faith; instead we must desire to cross over into the land of deliverance and purification. That bridge can only traveled by obedience and faithfulness to what we find true of Christ in the scriptures and is empowered by the gift of Christ life.

Morals

So this morning, I slept in. I woke up at 6, said to myself I'll just lay here for a sec, and that sec turned into an hour. At that point I was a half hour late for Army PT. I jumped out of my chair (yes I sleep in a chair) and took off across the room. It was dark, mind you. I only made it as far as our little foot stool deal, however, where I proceeded to biff it right onto my roommate, who was sleeping on our futon. JJ (Jason to some) looked up, confused, and rolled back over.

I made it the rest of the way, grabbed my clothes out of my drawer, and then decided I needed to get a quick drink of chocolate milk. I scrambled across the room, heedless once again of this stupid little black stool, and biffed it harder than before, knocked over the fan rather loudly, and ended up with my body on the floor and my face on my chair. I was so pissed it was unbelievable. It also hurt rather profusely. I finally made it out the door, and 6 hours later my shins still hurt.
Moral: just do it with the lights on

Morals

Its like 1 in the morning. I am driving, and me and my good buddy Abram are in the middle of no where, Kansas, in my crappy little (really really little) pickup. We are trying to find a side road to sleep in the back end. I turn down this little dirt road, and as soon as Abram sees two normal house dogs he yells 'theres two coyotes!!!' I laugh, and the dogs begin to bark. He says, 'go turn around and we'll try another road.'

So I drive down the road a few hundred yards and begin to perform my perfect 4 point turn. As I make the first turn, I pull right up to this two foot ditch. I put the truck in reverse (so i thought) and as I looked back we rolled forward into this ditch. I swore. Abram was pissed. And as I tried to back out, I came to the realization that we were stuck pretty well. So I rocked the truck forward and slammed it backward out of the ditch. ( I drive trucks for a "living" and this was the hardest I have ever hit something that hard). I freak out, thinking that something is broke. Get out, check it all, a.o.k. So I go to do the same turn, and literally do the same thing again. Into the ditch. Swear. Slam it out. Abram is laughing. I am pissed and in disbelief. I try for a third time and make it.

As we are driving down the road, in a fit of rage, I decide I need a cigarillo (Swisher, of course). I pull one out, and light it. It doesn't take. I suck harder. The thing is literally burning, and I am sucking in the grossest smoke I have ever tasted. I flip on the light, and realize I am trying to light the filter, and sucking in the other end. Grossest and stupidest thing I have ever done.
Moral: look at what you try to light.

My Life

Let me tell you about my day.

I woke up and went to breakfast. Every single day our school's dining facility serves eggs and sausage for breakfast. Everyday.

Then I went to my Pentateuch class. In class I took a comprehensive test over Genesis 15-40. The second part of the test was composed of writing three essays. The first essay was on my interpretation of Genesis 1-2 using Richard Hayes and Ellen Davis as my theological perspective. The second essay was on my version of Genesis 3 and how crucial that chapter is to the rest of the scriptures. Lastly, the third essay I wrote was on Geneses 22:1-19 and how Isaac was prefigure for Christ.

After class I came back and worked on my vocabulary acquisition of the Greek language. I also translated three verses, as my homework demanded.

Then I went to lunch and ate something that surely was not healthy for me.

After lunch I went to work. I sat in my chair and sorted/numbered mail.

Then I went to my Theology of the Reformation class. In class we had an extremely heated discussion on the bondage of the will from Calvin's perspective and spent all class arguing with each other. We used a lot of big words and smart ideas that would impress a lot of people.

When Reformation ended, my head was spinning with ideas but I still headed off to my exegetical Greek class. In class we discussed the subtle, yet extremely difficult nuances of the Greek language found in Romans 10:14-18. We also laughed at how we can predict different commentators reaction to the theological points presented in the text. Yeah, we read that many commentaries that often.

I was sitting there in my Greek class wondering what I was doing. With the certain look on my face I wondered what happened to an exiting life? Where did late night trips wondering around Detroit go? How did the irresistible draw of music get replaced by dead white guys theology? What ever happened to the boy who snuck into his girlfriends house at night? What happened to a life filled with danger, pleasure and satisfaction? When was the last time I closed my eyes and let whatever I wanted come out of my guitar? At what point did I become concerned with what was overstepping the line? It seems that I have suddenly lost my emotions and used my mind to control my life. I know it is all for the best. I mean how many people get this great of a chance to learn the character of God? How often do you see someone studying the bible in its original language? I'm blessed I know, but I am bored.

Ascension

"So then, when the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, He was received up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God."

-Mark 16:19


A common place mindset for the ascension of Christ into heaven is to relate his departure to a son who has accomplished his task and now is homebound. But, Christ ascension can speak volumes to us and prove to be of great value to our faith. His ascension can be thought of in a three manifold sense.

The first benefit we receive from Christ ascension is to understand that when our Lord ascended he reopened a path that was closed. It had long been since Adam had closed the door into the heavenly kingdom. As Jesus ascended, the rusty hinges flew off and access was granted for us to come before our Father unashamed. No more searching through a key chain of sacrifices to enter. The door is open and the breeze of God's mercy blows freely.

Secondly, we recognize that when Christ ascended He was placed at the right hand of the Father. As Christ entered into a spiritual and even greater sanctuary He firmly planted his feet and presented Himself as a High Priest worthy of becoming our constant advocate. In a tabernacle not formed by hands (Heb. 9:11) Christ locks gaze with the Father and adverts His attention from our sin to His blood. Christ has made strait the path that will leads us to a throne. The same throne that was characterized by dread and hostility to all who looked now becomes the object of a burning hope for those who have been raised from their slumber(Col. 3:1). By His intercession, the crooked can now straiten using grace and mercy to align themselves and the wicked can now dance in joy before a worthy King.

Thirdly, His ascents authenticates His power, the same power on which all our resources lean upon. As Christ ascended He prevailed over His declension into Hell. He overcame evil and left us to embrace that same power. As He left He placed in our hands the sword that would strike down evil (Eph. 4:8). He left us with spiritual gifts that would prove themselves worthy of overcoming the darkness that plagues our world. His ascension was the final expectation that affirmed Him as the true Christ which consequently authenticates our spiritual power.

Through Christ ascension we are brought to place where we have never belonged. The way to the throne is now clear and open to all who dare travel. As our intercessor occupies a seat with the Father He yearns to plead for us. His blood has well equipped His case and we can now be presented before a God of wrath as children of the promise. Christ has transferred to us every spiritual gift needed to preserve the church, protect us from and harm and overcome every evil that should sneer its daunting face. Our foes will fall to a power that they will never posses as we bow before an open throne that we now claim free access to.

This is the power of the ascension.

In other news. I am still ahead in Sac Tap. I have eight now and my either tap was on the only guy who has never been tapped on our floor before. This all took place after I was on the ground for a half hour because I got hit so hard.

Update

As I wrote in my previous blog, Sac Tap has commenced. The game is in full swing and so are our hands. Pain has been established as the leading fear on our floor. Many future children may be lost.

Currently I am on top with 6 sac taps. Ben and Adam are tied for second each having two taps. Both of them have placed one of their taps on me.

It was right before one of our soccer games. We were walking over to the field and Adam got me good. That one hurt real bad. About 15 minutes later during our warm up Ben got me again. I still hadn't recovered from the Adam's and Ben just took me to my knees. I must admit I did say some profanities due to the pain, but when I see Jason Jr. fleeting from existence I get a little upset.

The game is still on and I have tried to strike twice today. Both times I missed and one time I ended up cutting my hand on Ben's computer.

Fondle Jollies seems to be going a bit slower than expected. Bob tried to get Josh but his fondling skills are not at the level he wants them to be at. Perhaps he needs to watch more Thriller to get him in the mood, or go to mass.

October Pain Starts Today

You chalk these ideas up to the fact that I am still a guy in college and therefore act like a guy in college.

October is the worst month of the year. Not because we celebrate things like Satan or because I really don't feeling like doing work anymore. October is the worst because this month initiates the infamous game of Sac Tap onto our floor.

Sac Tap is pretty self explanatory. We have a little white board on my door that has all our names on it. Each time we tap someone else's sac throughout the month, we give ourselves one point on the board. Whoever has the most point at the end of the months win the game and a prize that has not yet been determined.

There are a few rules to this game.

1. No hitting during class, sleep, or in the dining commons.
2. If it doesn't hurt, it doesn't count.
3. Once you get hit/hit someone there is a 10 minute peace period. You cannot hit or be hit for 10 minutes after you hit or get hit.
4. You are allowed to use objects, and they can be thrown.

Yeah...We are pretty smart. And I am feeling pretty good, I have already hit three people today.I am pretty sure one guy forgot that the game started today because he was real pissed when I got him. I laughed.

Some of the guys on the floor really don't like the game. It hurt to much last year. So they decided to make up their own game called "Fondle Jollies." Fondle Jollies is simply won by fondling different guys on the floor. The only problem is that two are guys are playing that game so it will end up just being those two fondling each other. Kind of weird.

Yeah, we are pretty mature.

prayer please





sad but true