Morals

Its like 1 in the morning. I am driving, and me and my good buddy Abram are in the middle of no where, Kansas, in my crappy little (really really little) pickup. We are trying to find a side road to sleep in the back end. I turn down this little dirt road, and as soon as Abram sees two normal house dogs he yells 'theres two coyotes!!!' I laugh, and the dogs begin to bark. He says, 'go turn around and we'll try another road.'

So I drive down the road a few hundred yards and begin to perform my perfect 4 point turn. As I make the first turn, I pull right up to this two foot ditch. I put the truck in reverse (so i thought) and as I looked back we rolled forward into this ditch. I swore. Abram was pissed. And as I tried to back out, I came to the realization that we were stuck pretty well. So I rocked the truck forward and slammed it backward out of the ditch. ( I drive trucks for a "living" and this was the hardest I have ever hit something that hard). I freak out, thinking that something is broke. Get out, check it all, a.o.k. So I go to do the same turn, and literally do the same thing again. Into the ditch. Swear. Slam it out. Abram is laughing. I am pissed and in disbelief. I try for a third time and make it.

As we are driving down the road, in a fit of rage, I decide I need a cigarillo (Swisher, of course). I pull one out, and light it. It doesn't take. I suck harder. The thing is literally burning, and I am sucking in the grossest smoke I have ever tasted. I flip on the light, and realize I am trying to light the filter, and sucking in the other end. Grossest and stupidest thing I have ever done.
Moral: look at what you try to light.