Tuesday, December 04, 2007
I could do this
1. Put a cream into Castro's foot powder that would make him lose his hair. This would undermine his manly image, and the Cuban people would abandon him. It didn't work.
2. Send Castro a box of exploding cigars, because a leader with no face would be a joke to the Cubans, and they wouldn't follow him again. This failed when the CIA mailed it from the main CIA office in Langley. Fidel never even opened the box.
3. Dress up a Navy Seal as Jesus. Send him to scuba dive as a 'frogman Jesus' and swim up on the shore. Have ships in the water playing 'holy music.' As people would come, frogman Jesus would tell these people that he wanted to establish his kingdom here. He needed to see their democratically elected leader. When he found out that they didn't have a democratically elected leader, he would say, 'thats to bad' and leave. The Cubans would then revolt because Castro was the reason Jesus left Cuba. When Kennedy heard of this plan, he put the kibosh on it. To bad, huh??
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Grateful

Today I am grateful for my bible.
In my Greek class we do sight readings every Thursday and usually I dread them. Even though there is only five us in this class, it is still nerve racking to get up and translate on the spot. Right before my Greek class I have a class that focuses on the theology of the Reformation. In Reformation class we engaged in a very deep conversation on the separation of church and state as well as discussion pertaining to the Christian lifestyle with the perspective of the Sermon on the Mount. Today was probably one of the most intriguing conversations we have had in this class, especially with the elections coming soon.
As I went throughout these two classes I thought of how in love with the bible I have become over the past few years. Being a religion major obviously requires an extensive amount of time spent in the word, and I have savored every moment. The truths I have found over the past couple of years have proven to penetrate my heart like nothing else is capable of.
In high school I enjoyed reading, but nothing like now. I constantly look forward to the next passage of scripture and the truths found in it. The Jesus found in the bible, and all the theology that goes with it is so amazing. As I was sitting in my class trying to read the Greek New Testament I remembered how lucky I am to be able to read the bible this much. I have a major that allows me to dive into my passion everyday and I am so blessed to have that. I also have the ability to continue on in my studies at a higher level and discover even more of the bible I have come to love so much. Today was just one of those days when I realized that I am doing what I want with my life and it made me smile. I am not doing a major with a job in mind (which isn't bad on any account) but I am living out a passion.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Morals
I'm driving down the road. 6 hours later. The hair has thawed. Hair begins swirling around. Filling my cab through the broken windows that don't shut all the way. Deer hair everywhere. 4 days later. Hair still there.
Moral: don't put the deer in your bed
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Law
Most ridiculous British law:
1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down
3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store
4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day
5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter
6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen
8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour
10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Morals
Moral: really isn't one for this story....I apologize
(By the way, I have only told this story to like 3 people in my life. It was a secret until now.)
Kiva
To me, this is a solid method of empowering the poor to overcome their circumstances while still maintaining good finances in your own life. Right now I am trying to save for when I graduate and this fits perfectly into that plan. If I am saving my money I am not using it, so it makes to let someone else use it for a year and then have it paid back in full.
You can check it out at www.kiva.org.
He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for His Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God. - Proverbs 14:31
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Hope
Nothing has ever changed my world as much as hope. Hope stepped over every piece of warmth that was once in my heart. Hope can change the world. Unfortunately, hope changes the world into a bucket in which ridiculous ideas of love and happiness are repeatedly dropped into and forgotten about. One more thought hope of good only leads to one more disappointment and that is what is changing our world. This fluffy idea that good happens, but needs to predicated by hope only places people on a wall they are determined to fall from. People are being destroyed everyday because they believe that there is more. They build houses around fantasies that will never cross over into reality. How many tears have been predicated upon failing hope? You cannot crush a dream if you refuse to let it exist. People only hurt you because you are placing the knife in their hand.
Instead if hoping, people need to start realizing. Realizing that the heart of life is not good. Realize that circumstances do not work out and people are nothing more than fools. We need to stop living as if reality is some dream and believing that hope is our doorway into heaven. Start making the best of your situation and realize that you are your greatest gift. No one is going to come running with open arms appealing for your salvation. Stop laying your heart out for everyone to play with. Don't show all the cards in your hand cause you will never have the right hand. Do what you know is right, live the best you can and yearn for glory, but don't place value in hope. Hope is nothing more than a cloud consisting of allusions of better that we cannot help but fall through.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Story from the Past
A bunch of friends are I were all hanging out. Like a lot of nights in high school, we were relaxing at someones house watching a movie and enjoying life. I believe we ended up watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre (great movie.) When it got late we all decided to head home.
Now, I don't really remember what I did to get in trouble, but I do know that I was in trouble with my girlfriend. Knowing how I acted at that point in my life, I probably said something really stupid and mean to her. Looking back, I find that I could have had a pretty good relationship in high school if I had just kept my mouth closed. But, like everything else in life, my expectations kill everything that is of great worth.
Anyways.
So I am in trouble with the women but whats new. I decided to drive off with a few of my boys and a few relationship mistakes to add to the list. I think we left and went to play the lottery for a while. Playing the lottery was a frequent waste of money for my friends and I. I am pretty sure the most I have ever won is 10 bucks and I am also sure I spent the winnings on more lottery tickets. However, while we are playing the lottery I conjured up a brilliant idea. Since we had just watched a scary movie, and the girls were a little on edge, I decided we should scare them that night.
I knew it was stupid. I knew I was already in a lot of trouble, but I knew it was going to be worth it. I called my girlfriend and found out she was headed to our friends (Pastors daughter) house to spend the night. The house they were going to has one of those privacy fences enclosing their sidewalk. We decided that we would hide behind the fence then jump out and scare them. Not the most creative joke, but the results surpassed all of our expectations.
They pull up as we are already hiding behind the fence. In high school I drove ridiculously fast so it was real easy to get there before them. At any rate, were there and they start walking up as it is completely dark outside. All three of us jump out at them and yell. Our hollering at them was immediately met with yells that the deaf would hear. The screams we were hearing were screams of sheer horror. Dogs were howling for miles because of their screams. Both of them jump a mile. I am pretty sure my girlfriend jumped into the wall. Sucker. After their heartbeat came back down to normal levels they finally realize who it is. That look of hatred that your significant other is always so talented at starts showing up. My girlfriend was pissed.
Not even a minute after their scream our Pastor comes running out of the house. This is a 50 year old man at a full sprint. He was definitely in his pj's with no shirt on. He was just as scared as the two girls. Triple burn. He realizes what happens and forces an awkward smile. As us guys are laughing it up we realize that my girlfriends friend has literally peed her pants. How could it get any better? We had girls running into walls, people peeing their pants, pastors running outdoors half naked. They got burned.
Mine and the girls situation did not really improve that night. The guys and I had a great laugh so it was all worth it.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Morals
Moral: don't let me cut your hair
Schoolwork
The reading of scripture is divided into two perspectives of interpretation. The most common reading of scripture is to believe that the gospels are primarily an example of Christ life that we as Christians should pertain to. However, this interpretation of the text is the least important for on this level of Christ being an example He is just a far removed as our church fathers. His life remains detached from ours and does not bid anything of substance to our existence. In fact, as Luther would suggest knowing Christ as a mere moral example only announces our lives as hypocritical. Therefore we must maintain that Christ should be manifested on a much higher level than just an example.
The foundation of scripture is that Christ has been given to us not just as an example, but as a gift. Romans 8:32, “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” This is the paramount of understanding scripture: that Christ as been birthed to us so that we may participate with Him, and through Him, in the divine nature experiencing the fulfillment of Christ life as it penetrates and overwhelms our own. The glory of God is most adequately uttered in whispers that Jesus deeds and sufferings are now attributed to us. Jesus, in all His brilliance and power is now ours thereby equipping us to diligently fight against the kingdom of darkness.
When Christ life has become the principal blessing of our salvation, we can then look at Christ life as an example, allocating ourselves to love and to our neighbor as we find Christ did. The struggle here is to live in the free exchange of moral words and moral verve because the lexis sketched out in the scriptures is designed to elevate us into to the open doors of sanctification. Through the reading of scripture our secondary responsibility (after seeing Christ as a blessing) focuses on uncovering the different shades and tones of Christian livelihood that comprise God’s moral standard. It is our obligation to interact with scripture as a moral vade mecum. With this it becomes possible to appropriately navigate ourselves down the narrow road by capitalizing on each truth exposed by a tropological undressing of the text. All other interpretations of scripture flow beneath the bridge of the tropological perspective for we do not wish to concentrate ourselves on a mere factual knowledge of faith; instead we must desire to cross over into the land of deliverance and purification. That bridge can only traveled by obedience and faithfulness to what we find true of Christ in the scriptures and is empowered by the gift of Christ life.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Morals
I made it the rest of the way, grabbed my clothes out of my drawer, and then decided I needed to get a quick drink of chocolate milk. I scrambled across the room, heedless once again of this stupid little black stool, and biffed it harder than before, knocked over the fan rather loudly, and ended up with my body on the floor and my face on my chair. I was so pissed it was unbelievable. It also hurt rather profusely. I finally made it out the door, and 6 hours later my shins still hurt.
Moral: just do it with the lights on
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Morals
So I drive down the road a few hundred yards and begin to perform my perfect 4 point turn. As I make the first turn, I pull right up to this two foot ditch. I put the truck in reverse (so i thought) and as I looked back we rolled forward into this ditch. I swore. Abram was pissed. And as I tried to back out, I came to the realization that we were stuck pretty well. So I rocked the truck forward and slammed it backward out of the ditch. ( I drive trucks for a "living" and this was the hardest I have ever hit something that hard). I freak out, thinking that something is broke. Get out, check it all, a.o.k. So I go to do the same turn, and literally do the same thing again. Into the ditch. Swear. Slam it out. Abram is laughing. I am pissed and in disbelief. I try for a third time and make it.
As we are driving down the road, in a fit of rage, I decide I need a cigarillo (Swisher, of course). I pull one out, and light it. It doesn't take. I suck harder. The thing is literally burning, and I am sucking in the grossest smoke I have ever tasted. I flip on the light, and realize I am trying to light the filter, and sucking in the other end. Grossest and stupidest thing I have ever done.
Moral: look at what you try to light.
My Life
I woke up and went to breakfast. Every single day our school's dining facility serves eggs and sausage for breakfast. Everyday.
Then I went to my Pentateuch class. In class I took a comprehensive test over Genesis 15-40. The second part of the test was composed of writing three essays. The first essay was on my interpretation of Genesis 1-2 using Richard Hayes and Ellen Davis as my theological perspective. The second essay was on my version of Genesis 3 and how crucial that chapter is to the rest of the scriptures. Lastly, the third essay I wrote was on Geneses 22:1-19 and how Isaac was prefigure for Christ.
After class I came back and worked on my vocabulary acquisition of the Greek language. I also translated three verses, as my homework demanded.
Then I went to lunch and ate something that surely was not healthy for me.
After lunch I went to work. I sat in my chair and sorted/numbered mail.
Then I went to my Theology of the Reformation class. In class we had an extremely heated discussion on the bondage of the will from Calvin's perspective and spent all class arguing with each other. We used a lot of big words and smart ideas that would impress a lot of people.
When Reformation ended, my head was spinning with ideas but I still headed off to my exegetical Greek class. In class we discussed the subtle, yet extremely difficult nuances of the Greek language found in Romans 10:14-18. We also laughed at how we can predict different commentators reaction to the theological points presented in the text. Yeah, we read that many commentaries that often.
I was sitting there in my Greek class wondering what I was doing. With the certain look on my face I wondered what happened to an exiting life? Where did late night trips wondering around Detroit go? How did the irresistible draw of music get replaced by dead white guys theology? What ever happened to the boy who snuck into his girlfriends house at night? What happened to a life filled with danger, pleasure and satisfaction? When was the last time I closed my eyes and let whatever I wanted come out of my guitar? At what point did I become concerned with what was overstepping the line? It seems that I have suddenly lost my emotions and used my mind to control my life. I know it is all for the best. I mean how many people get this great of a chance to learn the character of God? How often do you see someone studying the bible in its original language? I'm blessed I know, but I am bored.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Ascension
-Mark 16:19
A common place mindset for the ascension of Christ into heaven is to relate his departure to a son who has accomplished his task and now is homebound. But, Christ ascension can speak volumes to us and prove to be of great value to our faith. His ascension can be thought of in a three manifold sense.
The first benefit we receive from Christ ascension is to understand that when our Lord ascended he reopened a path that was closed. It had long been since Adam had closed the door into the heavenly kingdom. As Jesus ascended, the rusty hinges flew off and access was granted for us to come before our Father unashamed. No more searching through a key chain of sacrifices to enter. The door is open and the breeze of God's mercy blows freely.
Secondly, we recognize that when Christ ascended He was placed at the right hand of the Father. As Christ entered into a spiritual and even greater sanctuary He firmly planted his feet and presented Himself as a High Priest worthy of becoming our constant advocate. In a tabernacle not formed by hands (Heb. 9:11) Christ locks gaze with the Father and adverts His attention from our sin to His blood. Christ has made strait the path that will leads us to a throne. The same throne that was characterized by dread and hostility to all who looked now becomes the object of a burning hope for those who have been raised from their slumber(Col. 3:1). By His intercession, the crooked can now straiten using grace and mercy to align themselves and the wicked can now dance in joy before a worthy King.
Thirdly, His ascents authenticates His power, the same power on which all our resources lean upon. As Christ ascended He prevailed over His declension into Hell. He overcame evil and left us to embrace that same power. As He left He placed in our hands the sword that would strike down evil (Eph. 4:8). He left us with spiritual gifts that would prove themselves worthy of overcoming the darkness that plagues our world. His ascension was the final expectation that affirmed Him as the true Christ which consequently authenticates our spiritual power.
Through Christ ascension we are brought to place where we have never belonged. The way to the throne is now clear and open to all who dare travel. As our intercessor occupies a seat with the Father He yearns to plead for us. His blood has well equipped His case and we can now be presented before a God of wrath as children of the promise. Christ has transferred to us every spiritual gift needed to preserve the church, protect us from and harm and overcome every evil that should sneer its daunting face. Our foes will fall to a power that they will never posses as we bow before an open throne that we now claim free access to.
This is the power of the ascension.
In other news. I am still ahead in Sac Tap. I have eight now and my either tap was on the only guy who has never been tapped on our floor before. This all took place after I was on the ground for a half hour because I got hit so hard.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Update
Currently I am on top with 6 sac taps. Ben and Adam are tied for second each having two taps. Both of them have placed one of their taps on me.
It was right before one of our soccer games. We were walking over to the field and Adam got me good. That one hurt real bad. About 15 minutes later during our warm up Ben got me again. I still hadn't recovered from the Adam's and Ben just took me to my knees. I must admit I did say some profanities due to the pain, but when I see Jason Jr. fleeting from existence I get a little upset.
The game is still on and I have tried to strike twice today. Both times I missed and one time I ended up cutting my hand on Ben's computer.
Fondle Jollies seems to be going a bit slower than expected. Bob tried to get Josh but his fondling skills are not at the level he wants them to be at. Perhaps he needs to watch more Thriller to get him in the mood, or go to mass.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
October Pain Starts Today
October is the worst month of the year. Not because we celebrate things like Satan or because I really don't feeling like doing work anymore. October is the worst because this month initiates the infamous game of Sac Tap onto our floor.
Sac Tap is pretty self explanatory. We have a little white board on my door that has all our names on it. Each time we tap someone else's sac throughout the month, we give ourselves one point on the board. Whoever has the most point at the end of the months win the game and a prize that has not yet been determined.
There are a few rules to this game.
1. No hitting during class, sleep, or in the dining commons.
2. If it doesn't hurt, it doesn't count.
3. Once you get hit/hit someone there is a 10 minute peace period. You cannot hit or be hit for 10 minutes after you hit or get hit.
4. You are allowed to use objects, and they can be thrown.
Yeah...We are pretty smart. And I am feeling pretty good, I have already hit three people today.I am pretty sure one guy forgot that the game started today because he was real pissed when I got him. I laughed.
Some of the guys on the floor really don't like the game. It hurt to much last year. So they decided to make up their own game called "Fondle Jollies." Fondle Jollies is simply won by fondling different guys on the floor. The only problem is that two are guys are playing that game so it will end up just being those two fondling each other. Kind of weird.
Yeah, we are pretty mature.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
A King and a Priest
In the Old Testament it was understood that the first born obtained the inheritance. His inheritance is a two fold deal. First he is a priest, and then he is a king and he was both of these over his dominion. When Christ was born He was the first and only son of God. He is the true priest, and the true King. Christ reign permeates throughout spiritual for He cannot control the physical, the things that are of this world. If He did control them, He would be bound to love and therefore have nothing to save of us. Not only is Christ the authentic King and Priest, he has imparted that gift to us.
You are a King
The nature of a kingship is someone who rules over his dominion with power. The king is ruler of all he can touch and has power that super cedes anything that comes his way. Everything is subject to the king. Paul states in Romans 8:28 that "All things work together for good for the elect." He explains this kingship more in 1 Corinthians 3 as he writes, "All things are yours whether...life or death or the present or the future, all are yours; and you are Christ." Obviously this kingly power is a spiritual power and must not be confused with a physical power of this world. Again, the word Savior is predicated upon us needing to be saved so we cannot have control of pain and troubles. We can however, have control of the spiritual world in our midst. The same power, the same spirit Jesus had access to is readily available for us today as his kings on earth. The gates of hell cannot withstand you. You are more than capable of taking control of your dominion, your sphere of influence. Evil runs at the thought of you because the know the power you have been given. You are a King and you reign in power over the evil that threatens your kingdom.
You are a priest
More importantly than being a king, you have become a priest. You have been giving the acceptance to go before a living God. You are able to pray for those who hurt, to intercede on behalf of the oppressed, and to cry for those who hurt. You participate in the royal priesthood therefore you can appear before God blameless, and worthy to advocate for your Kingdom. Being a priest, you have the responsibility to serve your kingdom by means of love. To become the least, so that the greatest glory may be achieved. You are a priest, and you serve your people with love and you have access to the Holy God.
You are a royal priesthood and a holy kingdom.
You are a priest and a king.
Jakes Bible
My Son, do not forget my teachings
For they will prolong your life with many years
And bring you prosperity
Let love and faithfulness never leave you
Bind them around your neck
And write them on the tablet of your heart
The you will win favor and a good name
In the sight of God and man
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:1-5
Let love and faithfulness never leave you.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
I could kill someone...if I had earmuffs.
We have been out shooting many times before and I have always stunk. We usually go clay pigeon shooting, which is where we launch these clay disc in the air and shoot at them. Keep in mind that I live with rednecks so this is quality entertainment for them...and me. For some reason I have never been able to shoot one. I have shot at them more times than I can remember but I have never hit one. It is actually border line embarrassing/pathetic.Yesterday, that all changed.
As an explanation I must say I have never been able to close my left eye without closing my right one. When I try I resemble Brad Pitt, except I have really squinted eyes, no muscles and a big nose. If you ever shot a gun you know how hard it is to shot without one eye closed. It all looks double and it is impossible to hit anything. Well, yesterday someone had the idea that I should take bobby's earmuffs when I shoot and place one over my left eye so I can focus out of my right eye. Embracing my inner pirate, I did and it was like magic happened. As soon as put those on I hit eight clays in a row. It was amazing, and everyone was just as surprised as I was.
Because of my new found talent I started threating people, stating that I could shoot and kill them if I wanted. Ben (the birthday boy) just sort of laughed and reminded me that all he had to do was take my eye patch off and he would gladly let me shoot at him. I thought "Arrr, he be right."
So I was feeling pretty good. I actually did a couple of cool tricks with my shooting. The first one being racking a shell out of my gun and shooting the shell mid air. I was pretty happy. Then I was able to roll a golf ball off the end of my barrel, flick it into the air and blast it. It was a lot of fun. I wish I had a camera because I am pretty sure those tricks were YouTube worthy.
To top the day off Michigan beat #10 Penn State. It was real good to see Michigan win against a legit team. It was real nice just to get away from the school work, and the stress of whats been going on lately.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Don't drop the soap, God is watching.
Today in the news I read about many important issues. Apparently
State Senator Ernie Chambers has decided to sue God. Rumor has it that Big Guns upstairs has committed one too many crimes against His people. The Almighty is being accused of causing untold deaths and it appears that He has no plans of repenting from these actions. Unfortunately, God has not presented any official statements regarding this matter. As a spokesman for God I would like to remind everyone that God has always held to the claim that He is perfect and has no plans of retracting those statements.
Perhaps there are some positives to this whole issue. If the Big Guy does end up in the big house O.J. would have one have at least one inmate who is guaranteed not to judge him. Also, if God is found guilty of murder it does seem possible that Christianity could make a comeback in the slammer. With a fully God yet fully criminal being walking amongst the prisoners, it would seem that a shank could quickly be replaced by a bible.
I hope that all of these allegations are dropped soon. For Christ sake, lets not put yet another father behind bars.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
??
"I used to have all the movements of the bad guys memorized for the first couple minutes."
--a moron